Practice like a Stoic: 21, Choose your company well

Just like your mom told you: be careful who you associate with

Roman fresco from Pompeii, Naples Archeological Museum. Image from worldhistory.org, CC license.

[This series of posts is based on A Handbook for New Stoics—How to Thrive in a World out of Your Control, co-authored by yours truly and Greg Lopez. It is a collection of 52 exercises, which we propose reader try out one per week during a whole year, to actually live like a Stoic. In Europe/UK the book is published by Rider under the title Live Like A Stoic. Below is this week’s prompt and a brief explanation of the pertinent philosophical background. Check the book for details on how to practice the exercise, download the exercise forms from The Experiment’s website, and comment below on how things are going. Greg and/or I will try our best to help out! This week’s exercise is found at pp. 135-137 of the paperback edition.]

“Refuse the entertainments of strangers and the vulgar. But if occasion arise to accept them, then strain every nerve to avoid lapsing into the state of the vulgar. For know that, if your comrade have a stain on him, he that associates with him must needs share the stain, even though he be clean in himself.” (Epictetus, Enchiridion, 33.6)

Epictetus may sound insufferably snobbish and elitist, but he is essentially giving you the same advice that your mom likely did when you were growing up: Be careful who you associate with. Seek people who are better than you, so you can learn from them; avoid those whose character and habits will drag you down. It’s important to note that you should not feel superior to others because you are a Stoic. On the contrary, precisely because you are a Stoic you recognize that you are flawed and that you need to avoid temptations and seek help to improve.