The last part is the fact that is horribly difficult to mantain. On one hand we have stoicism in one version or another, but basicly providing guidance and baseline to have better perspective. On the other, it is mostly self-help or to put it differently, most of the you watch over your behaviour and chain of thoughts. The aim is not to preach to others, that's for sure.
So at the end it is like living in to parallel worlds and in most situations you have a version of thought for yourself and a version for the outside world and those versions don't have much in common. That's quite exhausting, keeping your watch and don't let the outside get over you, is it not?
Marian, I understand what you are saying. But that too is a matter of our attitude. One can be exhausted by the effort, or one can be amused. I chose to be amused. It's kind of funny to see how your perspective on what others are doing changes once you embrace Stoicism.
Such counsel I try to apply only to myself, and not to others. I visited an older friend Wednesday at the funeral visitation for his fifty year old son.
I was there to support him in his grief for his unexpected loss. I kept in mind the old sayings about war: the natural order of death is that the father precedes the son in death, but war has fathers burying their sons. But the fact that war can be expected to reverse this shows that this isn’t a feature of nature but of human expectation.
Burying my father and mother was hard enough was hard enough, but I am grateful that I didn’t place them in my friend’s position where they buried me. For I too was once in risk of “unexpected death” due to possible consequences of alcoholic relapses. The Stoics remind me that we are social creatures and that tomorrow is not guaranteed. My fate today is built from consequences of the past, but my reasoned choice today codetermines my fate tomorrow.
Bob, that is exactly right. Epictetus clearly says that when it comes to the grief of others it is about them, not us, and therefore we should act in a way that is comforting for them. So long as we do at the same time strive to keep the right perspective for ourselves.
The last part is the fact that is horribly difficult to mantain. On one hand we have stoicism in one version or another, but basicly providing guidance and baseline to have better perspective. On the other, it is mostly self-help or to put it differently, most of the you watch over your behaviour and chain of thoughts. The aim is not to preach to others, that's for sure.
So at the end it is like living in to parallel worlds and in most situations you have a version of thought for yourself and a version for the outside world and those versions don't have much in common. That's quite exhausting, keeping your watch and don't let the outside get over you, is it not?
Marian, I understand what you are saying. But that too is a matter of our attitude. One can be exhausted by the effort, or one can be amused. I chose to be amused. It's kind of funny to see how your perspective on what others are doing changes once you embrace Stoicism.
Such counsel I try to apply only to myself, and not to others. I visited an older friend Wednesday at the funeral visitation for his fifty year old son.
I was there to support him in his grief for his unexpected loss. I kept in mind the old sayings about war: the natural order of death is that the father precedes the son in death, but war has fathers burying their sons. But the fact that war can be expected to reverse this shows that this isn’t a feature of nature but of human expectation.
Burying my father and mother was hard enough was hard enough, but I am grateful that I didn’t place them in my friend’s position where they buried me. For I too was once in risk of “unexpected death” due to possible consequences of alcoholic relapses. The Stoics remind me that we are social creatures and that tomorrow is not guaranteed. My fate today is built from consequences of the past, but my reasoned choice today codetermines my fate tomorrow.
Bob, that is exactly right. Epictetus clearly says that when it comes to the grief of others it is about them, not us, and therefore we should act in a way that is comforting for them. So long as we do at the same time strive to keep the right perspective for ourselves.